


it was the end of a decade (but the start of an age)

by Lymans



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lymans/pseuds/Lymans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I am reserving the right to tell you ‘I told you so’ when you realise that you cannot sleep with one of your closest friends and not have there be consequences.”</p><p>Jake and Amy have a 'no strings attached' one night stand. There are consequences. Baby-sized consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A drunken one night stand with Jake Peralta is not how Amy Santiago saw her Friday night going. Not at all.

The previous night’s activities are a little more than a hazy blur as Amy awakes bleary-eyed and incredibly aware of the warm body lying next to her in her bed. She can remember how it started – a quick scan of her Facebook timeline at the end of the shift that led to her world crashing down as she saw Teddy’s announcement that he was now engaged to a blonde journalist that he’d been seeing for less than six months. Jake had been the only one left at the precinct and he had determinedly brushed off her claims that she was ‘fine’ even as tears stung her eyes. Ignoring her protests, he had dragged her to the bar and supplied her with drinks as she rode through the various stages of grief.

After that, things get rather blurry in her memory. She remembers crying an embarrassing amount, cursing loudly, and fighting Jake for her phone as she attempted to leave Teddy a voicemail. There are flashes of dancing and some awful club where everyone seemed at least ten years younger than her.

And then the ending of the night comes crashing back to her as she tries to quietly slide out of bed without disturbing Jake. In the cab back to hers, he’d been bestowing the virtues of a palette cleanser after a break-up and Amy had quietly confessed that she hadn’t had sex with anyone since her and Teddy had broken up.

Amy is certain she will blame what happened next on those strawberry vodka shots they had had at two am for the rest of her life. One of them – she can’t remember which but she’s 99% positive it was Jake – had kissed the other one and suddenly the idea of a no strings attached one night stand to leave Teddy and Sophia in the dirt once and for all had seemed brilliant. She can remember the pair of them declaring themselves geniuses as they stumbled drunkenly through her apartment half-dressed and hideously drunk, claiming to have solved the hell of breaking up once and for all.

Apparently their drunken selves didn’t bother to contemplate what it would be like the morning after.

Amy is in the middle of pulling on her tank top when she realises that Jake is awake and watching her. All she does is stare at him, one arm in and one arm out of her top, and wish that the first pair of underwear she had pulled out of her drawer had not been her blue polka dot ones.

“Morning,” he says, shattering the silence.

“Jake…” she starts, pulling her NYU hoodie on and rooting around for a pair of jeans, avoiding meeting his gaze.

“Ames, breathe,” he tells her with a smile before grasping around for his boxers and tugging them on. As he stands up, Amy forces herself to look anywhere but at his chest and the tufts of dark hair trailing down his belly and disappearing below the waistband of his boxers. A vivid memory of pressing kisses along that path only hours ago passes through Amy’s mind and she feels her cheeks burn. “This doesn’t have to be awkward. We both needed some fun and last night was fun, really fun.” He gives her a cheeky grin and she can’t help but feel vaguely alright.

“No awkwardness? We slept together last night! We can’t just go back to normal.”

“Sure we can. Last night we were drunk and we needed to forget about our exes. It was just sex. You’re pretty much my best friend. This doesn’t have to be weird.”

“So we just carry on like nothing happened?”

“Sure. You want to get breakfast? I can feel my hangover kicking in and I need something greasy.”

“How can you want grease? I need carbs. I’m thinking bagels and pastries.”

“Carbs? Your hangover game is weak, Santiago.”

“They absorb the alcohol. Everyone knows that,” she tells him as she pulls on her Toms and roots around on her dresser for her keys.

And just like that, the two of them slip back into their usual routine.

* * *

 

“So what, you slept together and you’ve just moved on?” Kylie asks her the next Friday night as she tops up their wine glasses with the red wine Amy picked up at the discount store on her way over.

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Have you watched any movies? Friends with Benefits? No Strings Attached? Sex between friends never leads to anything except feelings. And by the way, you already have feelings, warm mushy feelings.”

“No I don’t,” Amy protests. “I am over Jake.”

“It’s adorable you actually believe that. There’s no way this can work.”

“It can work because it already has. We slept together once because I was sad and now it’s fine. We’ve been working together all week and nothing has changed. He was just being a good friend.”

“Good friends do not give you orgasms to make you feel better.”

Amy blushes and tosses a pillow at her best friend.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“He didn’t make you orgasm?”

“I am not talking about this with you!”

“Shut up, you big prude. All I am saying is that you have some level of feelings for Jake and sleeping with him is not going to end well.”

“I am not sleeping with him. I slept with him. Once. It’s in the past.”

“Fine. But I am reserving the right to tell you ‘I told you so’ when you realise that you cannot sleep with one of your closest friends and not have there be consequences.”

* * *

 

Six weeks later, Amy has a sinking feeling that Kylie may have had a point about consequences.

She excuses herself from the after work celebratory drinks and rushes home, stopping only to detour at the Duane Reade around the corner from her apartment, furtively glancing over her shoulder the whole time to make sure there’s no one who knows her about to pop up and examine the contents of her basket.

Her apartment is silent as she lets herself in and she suddenly finds herself wishing she wasn’t alone. However the idea of calling Kylie, or even worse Jake, seems as equally terrifying. In this moment none of this is real. But the moment she tells someone what she’s suspected since she flicked through her diary during the morning meeting and noticed the small red cross that signalled her period that had never arrived, it will all become something. So instead she sits in her bathroom by herself, pees on the five pregnancy tests she bought – just to be safe – and waits.

The three minutes it takes for her iPhone timer to run out is the longest three minutes of her entire life.

Her five year life plans have always been a point of pride. Ever since the fifth grade, she has carefully crafted a plan for exactly where she wants her life to be in five years’ time, and every version has come to completion from being student council president to captain of the debate club in high school to NYU to being mentored by her captain. Her current five year plan involves passing the Sergeant exam with a perfect score, being primed for Captain and getting married before she’s 35. A baby after a drunken one-night stand with her best friend has never been part of the plan.

The timer beeps in the quiet bathroom and her breath hitches as she stands up and forces herself to look down at the five plastic sticks lying by her bathroom sink.

Every single one of them informs her clearly and simply that she is pregnant.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy Santiago in a bathtub eating her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy to have had such a positive response to the first chapter. I was worried people wouldn't be into the necessary set up for this story so thank you so much to everyone who's read and liked it.
> 
> The whole idea for this story came from an episode of Hart of Dixie Season 4 and I will admit now that the structure for this chapter has been cribbed from it. The image of Amy eating sugary treats in a bathtub and panicking over being pregnant has been in my head for weeks and is what started this whole thing. So if you watch(ed) Hart of Dixie then you will recognise stuff in this from 'The Curling Iron.' And if you haven't watched the show, go and rectify that now - well after you read this chapter.

In retrospect, Amy is not proud of how she handles the news that she is pregnant. When she tells the story in years to come, her version of what happens is considerably different to her actual reaction.

As she stands staring at the small row of plastic sticks, all displaying the same result, Amy feels nothing but rapidly encroaching panic. Sweeping all the tests into the trash, she feels her palms begin to sweat. It feels like her heart is going to beat out of her chest. The room starts to swirl around her and she feels like she’s going to throw up (she is absolutely not willing to consider whether the nausea is due to her panic or a symptom of her newly discovered condition).

If Amy was capable of being rational then she would, just as she does with every major decision and event in her life, draw up a list of everything that will stem from this news and start forming a plan of action.

However, Amy is most definitely not capable of being rational in this moment.

So instead she finds herself settling for the incredibly mature method of treating problems she has no interest in dealing with – comfort food.

That is how Amy Santiago, normally sensible, rational and clear-headed adult, finds herself sat fully dressed in her bathtub, crying, and with nothing but a box full of twenty doughnut holes for company.

Stuffing a ball of sugar into her mouth, Amy takes a deep breath, chokes back another sob, and forces herself to consider what those little plus signs mean. She is pregnant. In a little over seven months’ time, there is going to be a squirming tiny human that’s entirely reliant on her. A baby. Her baby.

Children have always been a part of Amy’s image for her future. She wants to get married and have babies one day. But one day has always been an undetermined future point for her after she’s climbed up the career ladder and made a real name for herself at the NYPD. There’s a long list of things she wants to do before she becomes a mother.

Also the idea of being a mother, of caring for a child every day for the next eighteen years, is overwhelming. She loves her nieces and nephews, and she made a decent wage as a teenager babysitting the children in her Jersey neighbourhood. At the end of the day though she has always been able to hand a child back to their parents and carry on with her life. Her role in her nieces and nephews’ lives is the fun Aunt who buys them cool presents and takes them out on adventures.

Being a parent is a whole other job.

Her phone buzzes again on the floor, just like it has been for the past hour or so, but she ignores it in favour of swallowing another doughnut hole and forcing herself to breathe.

She can’t be someone’s mom. Can she?

However her thinking is disturbed by a knocking on her door followed by the familiar voices of Gina and Rosa calling out to her.

“Santiago? Open up.”

“Yeah, come on, Amy. I want to be nosy in your grandma apartment.” There’s the sound of a slap and Gina yelping. “I mean, I want to know you’re okay.” She doesn’t sound sincere.

She stays silent in the hope that they’ll go away but instead she hears a key turning in the lock and she regrets ever telling Rosa the hiding spot for her spare key. The two women call out for her as they let themselves in and Amy curses the two of them, one so incredibly self-absorbed and the other disinterested in anything personal, for seeking her out. She should have known that her weak excuse for skipping celebratory drinks wouldn’t go unnoticed by someone as nosy as Gina.

It only takes the pair a few seconds to find her and Amy doesn’t want to imagine what she looks like to them. She’s still dressed in her work clothes but they’re crumpled from her time in her bathtub, she’s been crying on and off since she found out, and she’s acutely aware of the sugar smeared around her mouth.

“Oh Ames, did your favourite character die on that nerdy superhero show you watch?” Gina asks with a sneer and a shake of her head.

Rosa hits her again before giving Amy what could be consider a sympathetic look.

“We came to check up on you.”

“You two?” Amy asks incredulously.

“You were acting weird today and then you bailed on drinks when you never turn down an opportunity for Holt to offer you praise. You’re my partner on the stakeout tomorrow and I refuse to have you screwing it up because you’re all emotional.”

“I just came to snoop,” Gina says and for once Amy appreciates her biting honesty. But then Gina perches on the bathtub, steals a doughnut and awkwardly pats her on the shoulder. “What’s going on?”

The idea of telling someone is tempting but at the same time it is terrifying. So instead she settles for an alternative.

“I got some unexpected news today,” she tells them cautiously.

“What?”

She panics for a moment. “A…an apartment offer.”

“You’re finally getting out of this granny apartment?”

“Why are you crying in a bathtub? That’s not bad news.”

“I didn’t ask for this apartment offer though. I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t try and get the apartment. But now there’s this offer and I don’t know what to do.”

“Is there something wrong with the apartment?”

“No. I like the apartment. I always figured one day I would have an apartment like that one when I had my life together and I had enough money for it and everything. I just didn’t expect to have that apartment now.”

“Ugh you’re so pathetic, Amy. I thought something important was happening. I could have been flirting with the hot new bartender right now. Just turn down the offer.”

“I could turn down it down,” she says hesitantly before trailing off and thinking. “I totally respect anyone’s choice to…turn down an apartment offer.” Her voice wavers and she sees Rosa’s double take at her words. “I kind of want to keep this apartment though because it’s in a really great location, the right location, and I kind of love the location. Honestly when I’ve thought about having an apartment, I always pictured one like that apartment. And the location might not be available when I’m ready to buy an apartment in the future. I don’t want to regret turning it down. I couldn’t take that back.”

While Gina is staring at her with a confused frown on her face, Rosa’s expression is the most sympathetic Amy has ever seen her be and she knows that she’s seen through the analogy. To her surprise, she shrugs off her leather jacket and joins Gina on the edge of the bathtub.

“What the hell are you talking about, Santiago? It’s a freaking apartment!” Gina says, spinning around to stand up but Rosa reaches out and grabs her arm to stop her going.

“Gina, she’s not talking about an apartment,” Rosa says slowly like she’s speaking to a young child.

“Then what….”she starts before her gaze lands on one of the pregnancy test boxes that’s poking out of the bin. “Oh.”

“So you’re having a baby?” Rosa asks her.

Amy takes a deep breath and brushes her tears away before nodding. “Yes I am but I am so scared. Which is why I am sitting in this bathtub eating doughnuts. What if I am terrible at this?”

“You have said many idiotic things over the years but that might be the stupidest one of all,” Gina tells her. “Everything you do, you give your absolute best to make sure you do an incredible job. Your determination when it comes to solving a case is honestly terrifying at times. I know you are going to be a great mom because any kid would be lucky to have a mom as driven and caring and loving and dedicated as you. And if you ever tell anyone I said that, I will deny it and destroy you.”

Amy is embarrassed to find a fresh round of tears stinging in her eyes at those words because if Gina of all people believes in her then maybe this isn’t such a massive mistake. Maybe, just maybe, she can do this and do a good job.

“So who is your baby daddy?” Rosa asks, helping herself to a doughnut, and the image of the three of them sat in her bathtub eating doughnuts and gossiping is almost too ridiculous for words.

“Please tell me it isn’t that drip, Thomas.”

“His name was Teddy,” she says, rolling her eyes. “And no it isn’t his. Um…actually…it’s Jake’s.”

At this Gina coughs violently, choking on her doughnut, and Amy can’t help but feel a little smug that she’s managed to surprise the woman who prides herself on knowing everyone’s business.

“I’m sorry what? As in Jake Peralta?”

All Amy manages is a nod before she’s bombarded with questions from the pair about the how and when and where.  She gives them the short explanation – drunken supportive one night stand – and she receives an impressed nod from Gina at the fact that the two of them have managed to ‘bone down and not be totally awkward afterwards. Especially you.’

Then Rosa asks the question that Amy has been avoiding asking herself. “When are you going to tell him?”

And there it is, the million dollar question. How on earth is she going to tell Jake that they’re going to be parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there was no Jake in this chapter but his time is coming. I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new term meant my teacher responsibilities had to rank above my writing enjoyment but Brooklyn Nine-Nine is finally back tomorrow so here's the next chapter.
> 
> You can blame an episode of The Mentalist for the events of this one.

How exactly do you go about telling Jake Peralta he’s going to be a father in less than nine months?

This is the question that plagues Amy every day, even as Rosa shoots her knowing looks and Gina keeps starting conversations with Jake on topics such as ‘do you think pregnant women are hot?’ (Amy makes sure to steal her lunch the next day for that one).

She considers writing him a note (this idea is immediately discarded because this isn’t middle school), leaving subtle clues around (Jake and subtle don’t go together), and just waiting for him to notice when she shows up to work with a baby bump (requiring Gina to keep her mouth closed for the next three months or so).

What she doesn’t expect is for Jake to find out in the worst situation possible.

It’s three days after her bathtub breakdown and she’s doing door to door with Rosa, Jake and Boyle. The hellish task has been deemed necessary by Holt as they keep running into dead ends in their hunt for the guy who’s been selling batches of heroin that have already killed eight people in the last two months. They’ve managed to trace his dealing ground to a five block radius but there’s been nothing new all week so they’re back at the apartment block where they suspect he lives or at least deals.  

“Oh my god he smelt like dog shit,” Jake says as an apartment door closes in his face and he retches, partly for dramatic effect and partly because the smell was so rancid. “Can we leave now?”

“No we can’t,” Amy finds herself snapping at him. The whole apartment block reeks and the smell is setting off her morning sickness so badly that all she wants is fresh air and a bush to throw up in. She has to stick it out though because throwing up is going to raise too many questions and she has never walked away from a task Holt has given them. “We’ve still got another floor to go.”

They’d split up to cover more ground and Rosa and Boyle had opted to start at the top and work down, meeting them in the middle. Rosa had given her another one of those annoying looks as she had left, as if Amy was going to choose a drug dealer’s paradise as the perfect place to share her news.

“This is pointless,” he whines.

“Obviously Captain Holt doesn’t think so. You know he’ll kill you if he knows you’re out without your vest on,” she adds as he knocks on the next door and asks the occupant if he’s seen a man fitting their description.

“We’re doing door to door, Amy, not some big takedown. And Rosa’s not wearing hers.”

“It’s protocol to wear your vest when going in to a dangerous situation. Hunting down a drug dealer is classified as a dangerous situation.” She re-adjusts her own vest and shakes her head.

Another door shuts in his face with little more than a grunt.

“What’s the worst that could happen? We suffocate to death on terrible smells?”

“Fine but don’t blame me when you get shot,” she retorts over her shoulder as she knocks on the final door for this floor.

Famous last words.

As the door opens, her brain tries to process the sight in front of her. There’s a man fitting their exact description of the dealer and he’s holding a gun pointed straight at her chest. Her hand is halfway to her holster and the cry of ‘gun’ is on her lips as he fires three times, sending her crashing to the floor.

With that her world explodes with pain and noise. Her head smacks against the floor but that is nothing compared to the pain in her chest. It feels as if she’s been hit with a sledgehammer and suddenly her ribs are burning and she can’t breathe, instead merely gasping frantically for air.

As she tries to pull in oxygen, she can hear Jake yelling and there’s the sound of footsteps from what seems like all directions. Everything is pain and sound but she can’t seem to focus enough to pinpoint anything but her desperate need to breathe. But then there’s a cool hand in hers and Jake swims into her vision, his face white and terrified. For a moment she wonders what has him looking so scared and then she realises that it’s her.

“Breathe, Amy, just breathe. You’re alright. You’re going to be alright.”

He keeps repeating the words over and over, both for her and him, until her breath begins to come back to her and her lungs fill with oxygen. It’s then that she feels the tears in her eyes and she can’t help but gasp as the immensity of the pain she’s in overwhelms her.

Jake squeezes her hand tighter and places his other hand on her forehead.

“Ambulance is two minutes out, Jake,” Boyle says from somewhere over her shoulder and when did he get here?

He doesn’t even look away from her at Boyle’s words though, instead keeping his eyes firmly focused on her, the look of panic slowly draining from this face.

“The ambulance is coming and you’re going to be alright, Ames. Your body is just in shock but everything will be okay.”

He says it with such conviction even though the fear is still in his eyes, and she squeezes his hand back before giving him a watery smile. Her own assessment of her injuries matches with his belief. There’s no blood meaning the vest took all the bullets, which would account for the incredible pain in her chest. She thinks she might have a broken rib or two, but if it wasn’t for the vest then she would be bleeding out on the floor right now. Aside from that, her head is throbbing where it hit the floor and her left leg is beginning to bounce from the adrenaline but that’s it. She’s alive and okay.

What she wants to feel is relief but there’s a nagging feeling that won’t leave her alone. It’s that feeling she’d always get on the school bus right before she remembered the homework lying on the kitchen table or the history test she hadn’t revised for. She’s forgetting something.

Jake is talking to her again but her mind fades him out in favour of trying to recall what it is she’s missing. She runs through a mental inventory of her body again, cataloguing pains and injuries in case she’s missed a wound somewhere but there’s nothing. She’s in pain and she’s nauseous but-

Nauseous.

It comes crashing back to her suddenly.

She’s pregnant.

She’s been shot, thrown to the floor, has possible broken ribs and internal bleeding, and has adrenaline coursing through her veins, all of which cannot possibly be good for a foetus.

Her sheer panic must show on her face because Jake’s leaning forward again, a look of concern on his face, and asking her if she’s okay.

There’s no note or ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug or positive pregnancy test or any of the other million ways she thought about telling Jake the news.

Instead it spills out of her in a shaky voice, fear lacing her every word.

“I’m pregnant, Jake.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy, Jake, and an ultrasound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so totally overwhelmed by the response to this story. Thank you so much for everyone who is reading it, leaving kudos, commenting etc. I'm so glad so many people are enjoying it. 
> 
> Also, how freaking great was this week's episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine? That's the most I've loved an episode since The Jimmy Jab Games. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Amy Santiago is not normally a fan of hospitals but today she finds them particularly frustrating. She’s hurried between cubicles with barely a word from the doctors and nurses who are poking and prodding at her. All she wants is someone to tell her what’s going on and that her baby is okay.

It’s not even been a week since she found out she was pregnant but the idea of losing the baby makes her heart ache. She didn’t think it was possible to miss something you had never had but she doesn’t even want to entertain the idea that any moment now a doctor is going to come in and destroy her world.

The only thing keeping her from obsessing over whether or not she’s going to get terrible news is the fact that she hasn’t seen Jake since the EMTs carried her away, leaving him behind standing in stunned silence. Boyle had told her that they’d see her at the hospital but Jake hadn’t said a word.

She supposes suddenly finding out that your one night stand has led to a baby that might have been lost before you ever knew it existed garners you the right to be in shock.

It’s impossible for her to keep from wondering what he is thinking and feeling though. Since the moment she found out, she’s hoped he’ll be excited at the idea of the baby. But she knows reality tends to differ from her hopeful daydreams. Jake has matured so much over the past year but that’s not the same as being ready to be a father. He is hardly known for embracing responsibility and that’s not even taking his daddy issues into account, nor his unclear feelings for her.

That is her biggest fear of all, the one she hasn’t voiced to anyone, and has been the reason she’s found excuses to avoid sharing the news with Jake all week. Ever since he learnt about her feelings for him and continued to date Sophia, she has been horribly unsure whether he still cares for her at all beyond friendship. And his nonchalant attitude after their one night stand has made her more certain that she is now the only one harbouring romantic feelings.

The idea of having a baby with Jake but not actually being with him makes her want to cry.

“Amy,” says a tentative but familiar voice from the other side of the door and she barely has time to compose herself before the subject of her thoughts walks in.  

The look of relief on Jake’s face when he sees her alive and sitting up causes a wave of love to wash over her and she wishes this could all be easier. Their timing never seems to be right and she’s so tired of having to hide how much she likes him.

“Hey.”

“How are you doing? The rest of the squad are in the waiting room but I thought you might not want all of us mobbing you straight away.”

“Thank you. I’m alright. I’ve got a couple of broken ribs and they want to keep me in overnight in case of concussion but otherwise I’m okay.”

He hesitates before he speaks again. “And…the baby?”

“I don’t know. A nurse said she was going to send a doctor to do an ultrasound but that was half an hour ago and no one has been back since.”

She’s embarrassed to feel her eyes filling with tears and she gingerly raises a hand to quickly wipe them away. Her show of emotion seems to startle him into action and he joins her on the bed, perching on the edge as if afraid she’s going to push him away.

“It’s going to be alright, Ames.” He presses her call button beside her bed. “We’ll get the nurse in and find out what’s going on.”

“What if I’ve lost it?” Her voice is quiet and scared because she’s never going to forgive herself if she’s lost their baby because she wasn’t quick enough to duck or fast enough to pull her gun.

Jake obviously reads her thoughts in her eyes because he shakes his head and takes her hand in his. “Whatever happens, it is not your fault, Amy. You did everything right. That scumbag was the one who tried to kill you.” His voice is fierce and filled with anger. She can’t imagine what it felt like for him to hear gunshots and see her falling to the ground. Above all else they’re partners and friends. She can’t imagine what it would be like to lose Jake and she knows it’s the same for him. “But there’s no point playing what if,” he adds. “Our baby is going to be fine.”

He sounds so determined that she desperately wants to believe him but instead she finds herself echoing back his words.

“Our baby?”

“I mean, I kind of assumed because you said you hadn’t slept without anyone after Teddy and you broke up, and you haven’t mentioned anyone since we hooked up, plus Rosa looked totally shifty when I told her what you said, so I just kind of figured it was mine but…”

His face is panicked and she can see him preparing to retreat so she squeezes his hand tightly, forcing him to meet her gaze.

“It’s yours, Jake. I’ve been trying to tell you all week but I didn’t know how to and this is definitely not the way I would have chosen. I wanted to tell you, you need to know that. I wasn’t planning on keeping it from you or anything.”

There’s silence and for a moment she fears he’s going to be angry that she hid it from him all week but instead he smiles.

“We’re going to have a baby,” he says and his voice is so filled with awe that she doesn’t want to shatter it by pointing out that that is no certainty.

However she is saved from having to say anything by the door opening and a doctor entering with what she recognises as a portable ultrasound machine. God bless Grey’s Anatomy for teaching her something.

“Miss Santiago,” the doctor says, glancing at her chart as he sets up the machine beside the bed. “I’m Dr Shepherd. I’m sorry it has taken so long to see you. I know you must be worried so we’ll get right on with the ultrasound.”

Jake politely turns so he can only see her face as Amy lies back down on the bed while the doctor covers her waist with a sheet. If this whole situation wasn’t so sad then Amy would probably laugh because, of all the ways she saw this day going, having a stranger poking around her vagina while Jake sat next to her was not one of them.

“Is this your first ultrasound?”

 “I only found out I was pregnant on Monday and I’d been meaning to schedule an appointment with my doctor next week.” She’s amazed she can speak at all since her heart is racing and she feels like she’s going to throw up in fear at any moment.

“That’s fine. And is this dad?”

Jake and her both jolt at his words and the look of surprise and happiness at hearing that word associated with him is written all over his face. No matter what comes next, Amy knows she will always be grateful she gave him that moment.

“Yes, this is Jake, the baby’s dad.”

Just saying those words brings a smile to her face and she’s not sure who has the bigger grin, her or Jake. So, as the doctor tells her this’ll be a little uncomfortable as he inserts the probe, Amy crosses her fingers, closes her eyes and prays to God that their baby is alright. Jake holds her hand tightly in his and she knows he’s as terrified as she is.

The silence as the doctor scans the screen seems to stretch for an eternity.

“Okay, first things first, your baby is fine.”

The relief that washes over Amy is unlike anything she has ever felt and she can’t stop herself from tearing up at the doctor’s words. Their baby is okay. They still have their baby.

“If you look right here,” the doctor says, turning the screen towards them, “this peanut shape,” he says pointing to the screen, “is your baby. And that flicker in the middle is the heartbeat.”

Then, after a moment or two, a whooshing sound fills the room; their baby’s heartbeat.

In that moment, Amy feels all the worry and panic she has been carrying around since she first suspected she was pregnant melt away.

“We made that,” she mutters to Jake who’s just as entranced with the screen as she is.

“That’s our baby.”

The look he gives her reminds her of the night he stood outside the precinct and told her he liked her “romantic stylez” only a thousand times more powerful. His eyes are glistening with tears just like hers and, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead while the sound of their baby’s heart beating fills the room, she knows they’re going to be alright. Her, Jake and their baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Amy have got a lot to talk about and figure out but I thought they deserved to relish their happiness before all those pesky 'feelings' talks begin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family, food and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I last updated this so here's a quick recap - Jake and Amy got drunk and slept together when she found out Teddy was engaged. They brushed it off as two drunk friends needing comforting after crappy ends to both their relationships. Except Amy's pregnant. Jake finds out when she gets shot on the job (thank god for bulletproof vests) and they panic at the hospital that she might have lost the baby. Thankfully the doctor confirms everything is okay and they hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time. 
> 
> And that's what you've missed on Glee.

Amy wants to talk to Jake about what this all means but Dr Shepherd’s departure is followed by the arrival of the squad who are full of questions and concerns. She manages to brush off Terry’s question about what’s taken so long with a fumbled excuse about a queue for the CT scan and Jake gives her a look that shows he understands her desire to keep this between themselves (and Rosa and Gina) for now. Except then her parents show up and she has to talk her mom down from her panic that her only daughter almost died while her father pesters her about whether she’s comfortable enough and if she needs more pillows. The squad make their excuses when her mom starts openly weeping and Jake is dragged out along with them, only able to give her a helpless look before Charles pulls him out of the room with everyone else.

Her parents set up camp in her hospital room for the duration of the night and she only manages to sneak her phone out once to text Jake and let him know that she’s okay, even if she is under a pair of highly overprotective guards. His reply is a series of emojis that make her giggle and she barely manages to stuff her phone back under her pillow before her mom is up and asking if she’s in pain and needs a doctor. The rest of the night she dozes as well as she can with her parents hovering and nurses coming in every couple of hours to check on her and give her meds. She also says a small prayer of thanks that the only time any of them mention the baby is when her dad is sleeping and her mom is ringing the family to let them know she’s okay. Telling Jake had taken her a week. Telling her parents that she’s pregnant after a one night stand with her partner is something that can definitely wait a while.

In the morning her parents are still panicked and Amy can feel herself suffocating under their mountain of worries.

“Amelia, you need to come home with us.” Her mom passes her the clothes Terry had brought from the precinct. “We will look after you.”

“Mom, I’ll be fine.”

“You were shot at yesterday. You could have died. I want you at home.”

She pulls on the NYPD hoodie, thankful Terry thought to grab a zip-up one, and fights the urge to wince as the pain reverberates in her chest.

“I’m okay. All I want is to go home and sleep in my own bed. You heard the doctor. All I’ve got is a couple of broken ribs. I’m fine.”

“Amelia-“

“Mama,” she says, forcing her tone to be softer. Her mom is scared. She has every right to be. If she hadn’t been wearing her vest then she would be dead right now and that thought terrifies her. “I know you’re worried but I really am okay. Thank you for coming to take care of me but you don’t need to worry.”

“I will always worry about you.” She presses a kiss to the top of her head and hugs her gingerly, watching for any sign of pain. “You are my daughter and worrying is my job as your mother.”

They sit in silence on her bed and Amy hugs her tightly, not caring about the pain in her chest. The fear about what her future holds is overwhelming. She’s going to be somebody’s mother; she’s going to worry about someone else every day for the rest of her life, and she has no idea how her mom does it. Her mom raised eight children and Amy’s memories are filled with a woman who always seemed utterly in control of everything. Through every accident and fight and problem, her mom always knew what to do.

“I love you, mama,” she whispers against her chest because she can only hope to be even a fraction of the mom her own has been.

* * *

The peace and quiet of her apartment after she finally ushers her parents out feels like a luxury compared to the busy hospital but she’s barely sat down on her couch before there’s a knock  at her front door. With a groan, she eases herself up off the couch.

Praying it’s not her elderly neighour, Mrs Wilson, with another complaint, she slowly opens the door to find Jake on the other side.

“Hey, how did you know I was home?”

“I remembered you said the doctors were only keeping you in overnight. I’ve been across the street waiting for your parents to leave for an hour.” He holds up two bulging grocery bags. “I bought food.”

She steps aside to let him in. “Jake, you didn’t have to do that.”

“You forget that I have seen the inside of your fridge,” he tells her as he dumps the bags of the counter. “I’m betting all that’s in there is a carton of milk, a bottle of ketchup and whatever is leftover from your last takeout.” He opens the fridge and examines its contents  - milk, Chinese food and some pastrami – and smiles. “Two out of three isn’t bad.”

In the bags is a mountain of fruit and veg, which she is sure Jake never actually buys for himself, fresh bread, wholegrain pasta, salmon, eggs, yoghurts and even a slice of the chocolate fudge cake that she always resists buying when she walks past the bakery sections.

“This is too much.” He ignores the protest and starts moving all the food to the fridge and cupboards even as she tries to stop him. “This must have cost you a small fortune.”

“It’s nothing.” Pulling a fork out of the drawer, he slides the slice of cake over to her. Her mouth waters at the sight of it and she’s unable to resist diving into it, even as Jake smirks at her. “Plus you’re eating for two now so I figured some extra food would help.”

His tone is light but the cake suddenly becomes hard to swallow as she forces herself to look at him. He’s got his back to her as he organises her fridge. However his shoulders are tense and she knows he’s waiting to hear how she responds. What she wants to do is laugh and make a joke because she has no earthly idea how to handle this conversation. But she can’t ignore it, even if that’s all she wants right now. There’s a baby who’s going to arrive in seven months and expect them to have their shit figured out.

“I guess we better talk about that.”

His shoulders relax at her words. She gestures towards the sofa and he follows her, closing the fridge behind him. His arm shoots out before she attempts to sit down and he helps her lower herself onto the sofa as his touch burns her skin through her shirt.

“How are you feeling?”

“My ribs ache but otherwise I’m okay.” She pauses before diving in. “I’m throwing up all the time but the doctor at the hospital said that’s to be expected.”

He scratches at the back of his neck and looks at her. “When did you find out?”

“Last Monday. I realised I was late and took a test after work.”

“And when did you tell Rosa and Gina?” The rest of his questions hangs in the air – _and why didn’t you tell me?_

“They came to check up on me when I skipped out on drinks at the bar and I was having a small breakdown. They put two and two together. I didn’t-  I wouldn’t have told them before I told you otherwise. I _wanted_ to tell you. I really did. I just had no idea how. And telling you right after someone tried to kill me is not the way I would have done it.”

He gives a feeble laugh at that but his face is pale and she knows he’s reliving the scene in the hallway again.

“I’m alright.” Her hand drifts to her stomach. “We’re both alright.”

He stares at her before smiling in that ridiculously goofy way that makes her heart flutter.

“I can’t believe I knocked you up.” She swats him lightly on the arm. “Come on, on my first try. My boys are good.” That does earn him a punch and he laughs at her before sobering up. “So what are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re keeping it, right? I know it’s your choice but at the hospital you seemed really excited so I kind of assumed that meant you wanted it.”

“I’m keeping it,” she confirms. “I wasn’t sure at first but I realised I want it. I want to have this baby. But that’s my choice. I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to do this. I’m not trying to obligate you into anything you don’t want.”

“My dad walked out on me. There’s no way I’m ever doing that to my kid.”

“You can’t do this just to try and make up for the way your dad behaved. A baby is going to be a huge commitment. It’ll change everything.”

“I know that, Ames, and I want to do this. Is it going to be scary? Of course. Am I terrified I’ll mess up? Hell yes. But you’re having our baby and there’s no way I won’t be a part of that.”

She can’t help but smile at that because he’s so enthusiastic, acting like having a baby before either of them are ready is the best thing in the world.

“Okay so we’re doing this? We’re having a baby,” she says and Jake startles, turning to look out of the window. “What is it?”

“Oh I just thought I could hear Charles screaming in joy.”

She laughs at that. She knows this is probably insane but she can feel her panic waning. Maybe they really can do this.

“So what’s the plan then?” he asks.

“Plan?”

“Are you telling me you haven’t already come up with a twenty-step plan on what you’re going to do?”

“I’d kind of been stuck on the first step – telling you.”

“Wow motherhood has really changed you.” He smiles for a moment before he surveys her seriously. “I guess we kind of need to tell Holt. That should be a fun conversation.”

“And I assume you’re going to tell Charles as soon as you can.” She laughs but he’s silent as he looks at her.

“Not if you don’t want me to.” This is the most serious she has seen Jake in a long time. She’s imagined his reaction to being a father multiple times over the past week and his jokiness and immaturity has been a staple part of almost all of them. Mature Jake is an unexpected turn, especially when she’s been freaking out for the past week.

She can’t help but ask, “How are you so calm about all of this? I’ve known for a week and I’m still panicking.”

Instead of looking at her, he stares at his feet and scuffs his shoes against the carpet. His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows nervously before meeting her gaze, causing her to shiver at the look on his face. She knows that look. It’s the same one he had given her the night he had changed their friendship forever before walking out of her life for six months.

“I’m calm because I know we can do this. Sure it’s scary having a baby that neither of us planned for but I have no doubt that we’ll manage it and be great at it.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Because it’s you and me,” he says, and his tone is so certain that she knows he’s not just saying it to calm her own fears. He believes it wholeheartedly. “We’re a team, Amy. No matter what happens, we’ll have each other’s backs and help each other through this. It’s what we’ve always done.”

She wants to say something, anything, to show him how much his faith in her – in them – means to her. But she finds herself choking up and she settles for lunging at him and hugging him tightly. He stiffens for a moment before his arms wrap around her while she rests her head against his chest. The sensation of his hands on her back send a wave of warmth rushing through her and she can’t even care about the dull pain in her chest as she curls into him.

“Sorry, it’s the stupid hormones,” she mutters into his jumper and she feels his chest rise and fall as he laughs.

Lying against him feels wonderful and Amy knows she should pull away, that this is crossing the boundary she has firmly established in her own mind to protect their friendship and to keep herself from getting hurt. It feels wonderful though as he rubs her back and she tells herself she’ll move any minute now. She’ll move out of his arms and go back to treating him like a friend; a friend she’s having a baby with but a friend none the less. However, for now she closes her eyes and breathes in the scent of his cologne, relaxing against him and feeling truly calm for the first time since she found out she was pregnant.


End file.
